In a Rut. Typing as I Think.

I don't know why, but I feel like I'm in a rut. 

In a rut of negativity,

of being consumed by how hard it is to be a mom to young children

(irrational, demanding children...see, there I go).

I'm stuck in "this is so hard" mode.

I am so blessed:

we have a healthy family,

no big financial stresses,

all of my needs met,

a happy marriage,

good kids,

a knowledge of God's existence,

etc., etc., etc.

Why is it hard to recognize the innumerable blessings and simply be grateful?

Grateful for living another day,

for time with my children,

for a loving husband,

for the sun that came out today,

for Hazel's long nap,

for getting something--even just one thing--done today.

I'm not saying I need to be unrealistically happy or not feel this way.

Rather, it bothers me that I feel consumed by negative thoughts.

And it hasn't been that long--I'm talking a few days.
Less than five days, anyways, judging by my last post.

Can I blame it on the winter season (even though I live in Texas and it was 70 degrees yesterday)?

Maybe it's a new phase of life and even though the adjustment to three kids went smoothly,

I now have a three-year-old and a crawling baby on my hands.

After all, life is a series of new phases, not always marked by a noticeable event.

How did every mother before me get through this?

Am I not applying the Savior's grace?

Is this just part of life and feeling a wide array of emotions?
Do I need a new birth control medicine? (kidding...kidding...at least this time)

Am I over-analyzing everything?

I do not naturally see the glass half full. Obviously.

Something I need to work on. Obviously.


**********

Moments.
Simple things.
Laugh with my kids.

Get out of my realm and look at the bigger picture.

Read this scripture every day:

"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd:

he shall gather the lambs with his arm, 

and carry them in his bosom, 

and shall gently lead those that are with young."

(Isaiah 40:11)

Listen to the Spirit.

Recognize God's hand in your life. 

Daily.

Be grateful.

Recognize the good, especially in your children.

And pray, pray, pray.
Keep going. Keep moving. Keep trying.